keep trying

have been trying not to match 'it',

have been trying not to like 'it',

have been trying not to think of 'it',

have been trying not to get fidgety of 'it',

have been trying not to bruit 'it',

have been trying not to follow 'it',

have been trying not to yearn for 'it',

but deep inside of me,
the facts are homed,
the efforts are futile,
because
the flame is too yellow to extinguish,
the rein is too tenacious to loosen,
it's too green for autumn to set in,
and am too big a dolt to understand.